One Does Not Simply Blog Into Tumblr.

A growing archive of things that make me laugh, people/places/quotes/movies/memes I find interesting, or whatever else I regard as amusing.
These include (but are not limited to): Lord of the Rings. LotR lulz. Breaking Bad. Fat Camp. Gogol Bordello. Billy Boyd. Reddit. 4Chan. Memes. Bad horror movies. John Carpenter's The Thing. Xenomorphs. Dinosaurs. Louis C.K. Squirrels. MST3K. Treehouses. Jeff Goldblum. Puns. Nutrition. Most anything cheesy or tacky. Graphs. Nostalgia. Dr. Hook. Bitching about college. Rifftrax. Using hilarious gifs to express myself. Offensive lulz. Abhorring Sean Astin.
I do my best to entertain the masses with the gems I find on the internet.
Me


COME AT ME BRO  
Reblogged from treebeards
brienne—of—tarth:

treebeards:

lmfao

paging jennthemusical



You think he made the flyer himself?

brienne—of—tarth:

treebeards:

lmfao

paging jennthemusical

You think he made the flyer himself?

(via mexicanprincessbrienne)

astinland asked: So because I stated he's an imperfect being but a good person is close minded? I feel I've been rather polite towards you. Simply expressing my feelings of Sean's own words. I have not said you were wrong I have said I feel you're misunderstanding. It is you who cannot open your mind. Not to mention how long ago the book was written. Even so, I cannot understand so much hate towards anyone. Astin or not. I'm sorry you're such an angry person.

I’M an angry person because I expressed my views about someone who said hurtful things about the people involved in the films that I love the most?

I never said that you were wrong; I never said that you had to share my opinion.

I never said that it was unacceptable for Astin to have flaws. I have his book sitting next to me right now, and I can easily point to quote upon quote of sections in which he comes across as mean-spirited. I cannot contain my natural reactions when I read his words.

I’m glad he’s nice to you and your friends. I just wish he expressed such kindness to his fellow cast members (in his book, at least).

Anonymous asked: If you could please not tag your hate with sean astin so those of us who are his fans don't have to see it, it would be very much appreciated. kthxbye

“kthxbye?”

Rude.

I’ll tag my posts with whatever I’d like. 

I shall stop tagging my posts with “Sean Astin” once astinland (apparently the self-appointed internet guardian of Sean Astin) stops harassing me. 

The more people who antagonize me (for having an opinion that is different than their own), the less patient and tolerant I become.

Anonymous asked: Astin is honest in his own way which is pretty dickish. Everyone's going to take to that differently. I myself don't care for it either. I'm sure he CAN be nice but so can most people. (He is an actor, after all.) What I don't get is why someone whose url is "astinland" is even trying to convince you that you're wrong. Because, like, lol. I'm all kinds of with you.

THIS. 

I thank you, kind Anonymous. I don’t know how many times I’ve had this argument with astinland in the past.

astinland asked: That's what I mean by misinterpretation. You see those quotes as whiny or self involved. Of course people do. Sean kinda bared his soul and spoke honestly about his insecurities, fears and triumphs. I didn't take his compliments as back handed either and I have read the book twice as well as have the audio book. You don't have to agree with all he said or even like it - I just think you're set on hating him with not too many solid reasons and that's sad.

“I just think you’re set on hating him with not too many solid reasons and that’s sad.”

I’ve read the book quite a few times. And as if the audio book would help. But to say that I don’t have enough solid reasons?


Done arguing with you. It’s not like you are coming into this debate with ANY semblance of an open mind. I’m sorry that you have Mr. Astin on a pedestal. To me, THAT is what’s sad in all of this.

Even worse, you still persist in defending him to someone with enough evidence to write my own goddamn book. So why don’t you just move along now? 

Note: So far, every single Astin fan EXCEPT one has been inconsiderate and rather blind to any flaws this guy has (or if they do, they still feel the need to get on my ass). This only fuels my need to stand my ground. Trololol.

EDIT: To add such a flawless comment that made me snort.

astinland asked: It's not just that I'm a fan of Sean's and dislike what you're saying. It's that I've had the pleasure of interviewing him and talking with him several times via twitter/phone/e-mail and he's been rather gracious towards me. I merely felt like speaking on behalf of his good character. One of my best friends has also met him in person. No complaints here! :) No one is perfect. But it feels like you're misinterpreting a lot.

I’m not misinterpreting anything. I’m merely going off of his words from his book. I’m clearly NOT looking for quotes to take out of context.

Of course he’s going to be gracious to his fans. How about this, next time you interview him, let me know how he feels about coming across as a whiny, insecure child who chose to write/focus on so many negative aspects of the wonderful experience he was lucky enough to have during the LotR production (not to mention complaining about how under-appreciated he was and delivering backhanded compliments to his fellow cast mates and crew).

I’m not the only one to share these sentiments. Read some of his book reviews. 

I’m not saying he’s the spawn of Satan or anything. Just an opinion from someone on the internet.

astinland asked: Do you think it's mature to spend so much of your time "hating" someone you've never met or spoken to? (I refer to Sean Astin) You read his book and there's even a section for how much you dislike him on your Tumblr. That's an awful lot of energy for someone you "hate". Just sayin'....

Mature? Probably not.

However, I see it as an almost therapeutic kind of energy; allowing myself to vent makes me feel better.

Look, I’m a stupidly big fan of the LotR trilogy, and HIS words were quite hurtful to a fan like myself, who used to view the entire cast as having this incredible bond that I’ve never seen before or since from the production of a film. In my opinion, a lot of his book’s sections came across as immature.

I write these posts in order to convey that my sentiments about Astin are justified (providing quotes from his work). This way, I do not have to constantly explain why I am not fond of him.

In conclusion: this is the internet. There are going to be viewpoints that you might not agree with on here (shocking, I know). But I’m not forcing anyone to read my posts; by tagging those posts “Sean Astin,” it is easier for me to compile them on my blog.

I am sorry that you came across something on the internet that is not to your liking. 

I’m not trying to be a dick. Just sayin’.

mikesrottingbrain asked: And another question! Have you ever seen Sean Astin shoot himself in the head? If not, do you want to?

No, I have not, but it sounds like a dream come true haha. I’m kidding. I do not wish any ill will on Astin…Honestly, I just wish he would have kept his disrespectful comments to himself. I truly feel that had his remarks and sentiments not been made public, the entire LotR cast would appear flawless…

Oh well.


mikesrottingbrain asked: Did you hate Sean Astin prior to his role in LOTR? And if not, is your hatred of him so strong that you now retroactively hate all the work he was in before that? I mean, really that's like me asking "Do you hate Goonies now?" Because that's the only other good movie he's been in. It'd be terrible if you couldn't watch Encino Man now because of Astin. No it wouldn't.

No, I didn’t even hate him or his portrayal of Samwise Gamgee until I started re-watching all of the behind the scenes footage, and the cast commentary (which was where my distaste of him really started to become evident).

It wasn’t until I discovered that Astin had written an autobiography shortly after his work in the LotR trilogy. I wondered whether or not he had any interesting stories about his time on set (as well as humorous anecdotes involving the cast, much like the actors’ tales on the DVD), so I looked it up on Amazon and read the reviews.

 I was astonished to see so many reviews by readers who were disgusted by his constant backhanded compliments to damn near every cast member; they even provided quotes from the book, so I knew immediately that I needed to get my hands on a copy in order to be certain that the unkind feelings I derived from everything on the DVDs were not unfounded. I was right, and I wanted other LotR fans to at least be aware of his faggotry.

No, I do not hate The Goonies, or Encino Man (though he did have some nasty comments to say about Pauly Shore). I haven’t seen much else that he’s been in, and I honestly have no intention of ever seeing Rudy.


Reblogged from soistoleatimelordandranaway

LotR Cast Commentary- Sean Astin was fat.

  • Dom: Tell you what, Sean Astin was fat, wasn't he? Would you like to make a comment on that Bill, or would you like to just laugh silently?
  • Billy: I will leave that with you, Dom.
  • Dom: I did say he *was* fat. He now has the body of a Greek god.
Reblogged from mcavoys

THE BEST OF LOTR COMMENTARIES

Sean Astin deserved it. Asshole.

(Source: mcavoys, via lordoftheringslove)

Reblogged from mcavoys
Reblogged from mcavoys
Reblogged from textsfrommiddle-earth

It’s even funnier because of Astin’s narcissistic attention-whore tendencies.

It’s even funnier because of Astin’s narcissistic attention-whore tendencies.

“There and Back Again: An Asshat’s Tale” – Astin Review Pt. 2

My apologies for not delivering this post sooner; due to depression and having to write all of Astin’s long-winded whining, has made creating this post take FOR-EVER. This second critique is a continuation of the despicable things Astin has written in his autobiography (and justifies my hatred of him). Without further ado, let the rage bubble up inside of you.

NOTE: “…” just means he was babbling and I’m trying to make it short and sweet, but also making sure that I’ve included the context of his quotes. Wouldn’t want anyone to think that I’ve taken his loathsome comments out of context (I know that I said it last time, but it’s necessary).

Constantly gives these backhanded compliments:

(p.229)

“Maybe I wasn’t as tough as Viggo (who merely asked for a dab of superglue when his tooth broke off)…” [when he stepped on the piece of glass while filming the Amon Hen scene – had to be rushed to the hospital and thus stopped shooting]

He admires Andy Serkis and Billy Boyd, yet ENVIES them.

(p.221-222)

“Billy Boyd and Andy Serkis have something in common: they’re both serious actors, and they’re both really happy practicing their craft. There is something unique about the way they approach acting – and their lives. There is a selflessness about them that I envy…In both cases, thought, there is an admirable and palpable commitment to acting, and it was clear that Peter liked and respected it, and wanted them to shine in the movie because of it. I think Peter recognized my talent and honestly knew that I wanted to do well, but I also think my level of awareness about how movies are made and the politics behind the making the movies prompted him to view me in a different light. That’s a roundabout way of saying that at times I was a pain in the ass, which isn’t quite as worthy a thing to honor.”

I’ll at least give him props for admitting this, to be honest.

 

This is a side story (apart from his LotR accounts) about being rude about Encino Man and his thoughts on Pauly Shore.

(p.27)

“But I didn’t want to do it, especially after I got to a hotel in London, opened up the FedEx package, and looked at some tapes of Pauly Shore hamming it up on MTV, drawling, ‘Hey, Buddddddy!’ and giggling and staggering around like a stoner. All I could think was, Oh, it’s going to be hard to spend time with that guy. Then I read the script – again – and of course it was still a piece of shit.”

Rude. Disgusting.

(p.36)

“The thing that made me right for the role – a certain quiet intensity, an everyman quality – was precisely what made me dissatisfied with it. I looked at Brendan [Fraser] and thought, I’m not going to be that guy, the leading man. And I looked at Pauly and thought, I’m not gonna be that guy, either, the…well, whatever Pauly is.

Astin, bragging some more (I played Rudy! Blah blah blah I can’t stop boasting about ME ME ME MYSELF AND I).

(p.193)

“Nothing bothered him [Elijah]…that was left to me, the ‘Nervous Nellie’ hobbit, always driving people nuts with my worrying and fretting that something terrible might happen. And not just to the actors. At one point, for example, there was something of a crew mutiny fermenting, which got me really excited, because, hey, I played Rudy! …[goes off for another two pages about what a working class man he is, NEVER EVEN FINISHING HIS STORY.] 

On Tolkien and not being able to read the books.

(p.112)

“I still couldn’t read the book. I tried. Many times. Not having the job or fretting about not getting the job was no longer a valid excuse, so I came up with another one: There’s no time to focus on it.

(p.158-159)

“All right, I admit it. I took a shortcut. Tried to, anyway…I tried to absorb an audio version of The Lord of the Rings that had been recorded for the BBC…I still didn’t have a firm grasp of the story. I understood my dialogue and what the story was supposed to represent, but I wasn’t emotionally invested in the nuts and bolts of the screenplay, partly because I felt guilty about not having read the books…Granted, the solution was obvious: sit down and read the damn books! As had often been the case when I was a child, though, I found the task intimidating. More than a thousand pages, hours of time, when I didn’t really have the time to spare…I found it difficult to toggle back and forth between what I wanted to do and what I had to do.”

I love that this jerk mentions so many times he failed at reading the book. Apparently, he even tried audio books, but couldn’t actually get into it until they started filming it (to actually read the books). To add insult to injury, Astin repeatedly vocalizes (in the DVD extras as well as constantly in the cast commentaries) how important it was TO HIM AS A HUGE FAN that Peter Jackson didn’t ruin anything with filming. Fucker.

His wig incident with Serkis (during filming a scene from The Two Towers)

(p.222-223)

“As Andy grabbed me by the collar and pulled me back, he caught a fistful of hair and yanked my wig off. Now, this was not an easy thing to do. This was not a ‘hairpiece;’ it was an anchored wig. The makeup artists would slick back our hair and glue the wiglace on. They’d twist the real hair on top and in back, and tie it off with rubber bands. Then they’d put a wig on top and insert pins through the wiglace and anchor those into the rubber bands. The end result was a wig that wouldn’t move in a hurricane…What I should have done was laugh it off… I mean, it didn’t hurt that bad. It was just embarrassing. But I was tired and frustrated, so I got up, and without saying a word to anyone, walked off the set and headed for the makeup area…but I did walk off in a bit of a huff, which was pretty silly, considering Andy hadn’t done anything wrong. He was supposed to grab my hard; I wanted him to grab me hard. It wasn’t his fault that my wig came off, and I should have said so. I didn’t, though, and my lack of courtesy really pissed him off.

            ‘Sorry, man,’ he snapped. ‘It wasn’t on purpose, you know?’”

ASSHOLE. Serkis had every right to “snap” at you.

More self-absorbed musings. LOL DELUSIONAL.

(p.242)

“Samwise Gamgee…wasn’t the kind of character who was going to be the focus of the movie. He would have his moments, just like so many other characters – more of them than most, in fact – and a few that were undeniably powerful. Peter knew that and wasn’t going to go out of his way to make me feel better. Dealing with that realization, day in and day out, was challenge; knowing I wasn’t the reason people would be flocking to the movie was hard.

(p.243)

“Elijah employed no such safety measures. He simply and bravely, maybe even foolishly, climbed onto my back and allowed his body to go limp. As I trudged up the side of the mountain, with my prosthetic feet slipping and sliding through the gravel, I remember thinking, Holy shit! I’ve got the whole $270 million franchise on my shoulders right now.

(p.245)

“…done properly, it would serve as a tribute to Tolkien and the fans of Tolkien, and it would honor the studio that had gambled $270 million. Everything pointed to this moment. Either we were going to succeed and thus validate the support of those who had believed in us, or we were going to fail. And if we failed, I would perceive it as my failure.”

TBH, if it did, I would have blamed you. Heh heh heh. My hatred is now turning into reveling with how much I enjoy being spiteful towards him.

Rude to PJ – this made me throw the book across my apartment.

(p.295)

“In an ostensibly sweet-natured Time magazine story about previously little-known actors in breakthrough roles, I managed to take a big chunk out of the hand that fed me.

‘Sam’s fiercest moment comes when he leans over his friend, ailing and bearing the deadly Ring, and declares, ‘Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can’t carry it for you. But I can carry you.’ The scene has evoked tears from strong men and yanked Astin into the awards limelight. Yet as much as he reveres Jackson, Astin believes the wrong take is in the film. ‘I know the way I delivered the line was so much more powerful than what the audience sees. That was one of the great acting achievements of my life, and I feel only 20% is on the screen.’

I regretted that comment almost as soon as it came out of my mouth [HMM OR IS IT BECAUSE OF WHAT FOLLOWED? I WONDER] A few days after the story appeared, as I was getting ready to board a plane for Hawaii, I got an e-mail from Fran Walsh saying, in essence, ‘I think you should know how hurt Peter was by what you said in Time, and how unfair it was that you said that.’”

I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO ADD THAT WOULD NOT ENTAIL CAPSLOCK OR NASTY INSULTS. I CAN’T.

To quote Treebeard: “There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men for this treachery.”

Dear lord I abhor this man with every fiber of my being. I’m leaving out another five sections of the book (some being the most infuriating parts of the book); those will be in my next and final review…And then I plan on burning this piece of trash.

I hope Astin one day reads this, and cries like a bitch.

No, sincerely, I do mean it.

BTW, did I ever mention that he misspells Theodén’s name? He wrote “Theodin” and it somehow went unnoticed by any editor. Rage.

I shall end this (for now) with a FANTASTIC work of art that my friend Alex created from my feelings on Astin:


Part one of my review here: Wanna hate Sean Astin even more?